IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries the average weight of people increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing

#countries #weight #people #levels #health #fitness
It is a fact that the obesity rates of citizens are enhancing while their health and fitness skills show the opposite trend. In my opinion ,
this
 is mainly because of the eating schedule and contemporary lifestyle that they follow.
This
 essay will explore the factors that lead to
this
then
 propose possible solutions. On the one hand, the foremost reasons for obesity are the huge amount of consumption of unhealthy foods. Many Individuals begin to eat in western food conditions and eventually end up being fat or consuming fast foods, including pizzas or burgers. Consumption of
this
 kind of food regularly will boost people's weight and shorten their lifespan time.
On the other hand
 , more and more citizens are getting used to living a sedentary lifestyle. They do not devote any time to do physical activities like jogging, running or even walking.
As a result
 , they lose their willpower
in addition
 healthy life schedule as well. If
this
 phenomenon continues the citizens will likely break their frequent health . The government's decision about
this
 trend is necessary about to open many fitness centres as well as sports complexes in nearby. In a study conducted by a popular newspaper called "New York ,Times" 90% of the respondents said that they are willing to use the gym or any physical activity centres if they are within
3 kilometre
Add a hyphen
3-kilometre
show examples
 radius. To sum up, encouraging residents to do more regular physical activities will not only improve their fitness and overall health but
also
 assists people to lose weight.
Submitted by Qcutruxa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: