Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while other consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and you opinion
It is argued that moving to a foreign
country
would be beneficial for members of the family, including children
. While
others believe that it is difficult for kids to adapt to a new country
. In this
essay, I am going to examine both these points of view and in my opinion, moving to different countries
is suitable for children
's development.
Some people argue that the benefits of moving abroad considerably outweigh its disadvantages, particularly for children
. The main reason for believing this
is because some countries
offer free health
and education
services. For instance
, Japan provides health
services for children
, even those who have moved from another country
. In addition
, Germany provides high-quality education
for children
. Obviously, it will be beneficial for children
to obtain wider knowledge and improve their skills earlier. In contrast
, some countries
have poor quality in health
and education
. As a result
, moving abroad is better for children
's growth and development.
On the other hand
, despite some merits above, there are also
some drawbacks that can not be ignored. The biggest challenge for children
during the move to other countries
is in terms of extreme climate. Children
have to adapt to their new environment due to
different climates. To illustrate, those from Indonesia, which is a tropical country
have to adapt to extreme temperatures when they are moving to Scandinavian countries
, such
as Finland, Denmark, and Sweden which are sub-tropical countries
. Additionally
, languages also
become an obstacle for children
when they move to another country
. This
is because not all people in the world have English skills, they prefer to use their national language when they are communicating with visitors.
In conclusion, Although
moving to another country
has some disadvantages for kids, I believe that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. The process of children
to adapt in their new environment and studying traditional languages is better for their development. Furthermore
, some health
and education
facilities and services in certain countries
also
lead children
to improve their skills and talents.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Try to address counterarguments more comprehensively. While you mentioned some drawbacks, adding more depth to these arguments can make your essay more balanced and nuanced.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both views and providing a well-reasoned opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support the main points, and a concise conclusion.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.