Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while other consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and you opinion

#families #move #countries #people #children #benefit #country

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It is argued that moving to a foreign

country

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would be beneficial for members of the family, including

children

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While

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others believe that it is difficult for kids to adapt to a new

country

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. In

this

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essay, I am going to examine both these points of view and in my opinion, moving to different

countries

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is suitable for

children

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's development. Some people argue that the benefits of moving abroad considerably outweigh its disadvantages, particularly for

children

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. The main reason for believing

this

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is because some

countries

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offer free

health

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and

education

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services.

For instance

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, Japan provides

health

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services for

children

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, even those who have moved from another

country

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In addition

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, Germany provides high-quality

education

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for

children

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. Obviously, it will be beneficial for

children

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to obtain wider knowledge and improve their skills earlier.

In contrast

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, some

countries

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have poor quality in

health

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and

education

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As a result

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, moving abroad is better for

children

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's growth and development.

On the other hand

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, despite some merits above, there are

also

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some drawbacks that can not be ignored. The biggest challenge for

children

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during the move to other

countries

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is in terms of extreme climate.

Children

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have to adapt to their new environment

due to

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different climates. To illustrate, those from Indonesia, which is a tropical

country

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have to adapt to extreme temperatures when they are moving to Scandinavian

countries

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such

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as Finland, Denmark, and Sweden which are sub-tropical

countries

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Additionally

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, languages

also

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become an obstacle for

children

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when they move to another

country

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This

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is because not all people in the world have English skills, they prefer to use their national language when they are communicating with visitors. In conclusion,

Although

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moving to another

country

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has some disadvantages for kids, I believe that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. The process of

children

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to adapt in their new environment and studying traditional languages is better for their development.

Furthermore

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, some

health

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and

education

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facilities and services in certain

countries

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also

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lead

children

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to improve their skills and talents.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Mon Sep 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

Try to address counterarguments more comprehensively. While you mentioned some drawbacks, adding more depth to these arguments can make your essay more balanced and nuanced.

task achievement

Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both views and providing a well-reasoned opinion.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support the main points, and a concise conclusion.

task achievement

You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive abilities
adaptability
cultural awareness
disruption
educational systems
emotional well-being
broaden perspectives
open-minded
personal growth
instability
rootlessness
sense of belonging

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Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while other consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and you opinion

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Some people think we need to give aid to all poor countries. Others, however, argue that we should not give international aid to countries with corruption in their system. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

in many countries’ schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the cause (problems)of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?