Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while other consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and you opinion

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It is argued that moving to a foreign
country
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would be beneficial for members of the family, including
children
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.
While
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others believe that it is difficult for kids to adapt to a new
country
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. In
this
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essay, I am going to examine both these points of view and in my opinion, moving to different
countries
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is suitable for
children
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's development. Some people argue that the benefits of moving abroad considerably outweigh its disadvantages, particularly for
children
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. The main reason for believing
this
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is because some
countries
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offer free
health
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and
education
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services.
For instance
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, Japan provides
health
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services for
children
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, even those who have moved from another
country
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.
In addition
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, Germany provides high-quality
education
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for
children
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. Obviously, it will be beneficial for
children
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to obtain wider knowledge and improve their skills earlier.
In contrast
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, some
countries
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have poor quality in
health
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and
education
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.
As a result
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, moving abroad is better for
children
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's growth and development.
On the other hand
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, despite some merits above, there are
also
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some drawbacks that can not be ignored. The biggest challenge for
children
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during the move to other
countries
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is in terms of extreme climate.
Children
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have to adapt to their new environment
due to
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different climates. To illustrate, those from Indonesia, which is a tropical
country
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have to adapt to extreme temperatures when they are moving to Scandinavian
countries
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,
such
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as Finland, Denmark, and Sweden which are sub-tropical
countries
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.
Additionally
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, languages
also
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become an obstacle for
children
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when they move to another
country
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.
This
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is because not all people in the world have English skills, they prefer to use their national language when they are communicating with visitors. In conclusion,
Although
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moving to another
country
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has some disadvantages for kids, I believe that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. The process of
children
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to adapt in their new environment and studying traditional languages is better for their development.
Furthermore
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, some
health
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and
education
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facilities and services in certain
countries
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also
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lead
children
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to improve their skills and talents.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Try to address counterarguments more comprehensively. While you mentioned some drawbacks, adding more depth to these arguments can make your essay more balanced and nuanced.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both views and providing a well-reasoned opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support the main points, and a concise conclusion.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • adaptability
  • cultural awareness
  • disruption
  • educational systems
  • emotional well-being
  • broaden perspectives
  • open-minded
  • personal growth
  • instability
  • rootlessness
  • sense of belonging
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