Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while other consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and you opinion

It is argued that moving to a foreign
country
would be beneficial for members of the family, including
children
.
While
others believe that it is difficult for kids to adapt to a new
country
. In
this
essay, I am going to examine both these points of view and in my opinion, moving to different
countries
is suitable for
children
's development. Some people argue that the benefits of moving abroad considerably outweigh its disadvantages, particularly for
children
. The main reason for believing
this
is because some
countries
offer free
health
and
education
services.
For instance
, Japan provides
health
services for
children
, even those who have moved from another
country
.
In addition
, Germany provides high-quality
education
for
children
. Obviously, it will be beneficial for
children
to obtain wider knowledge and improve their skills earlier.
In contrast
, some
countries
have poor quality in
health
and
education
.
As a result
, moving abroad is better for
children
's growth and development.
On the other hand
, despite some merits above, there are
also
some drawbacks that can not be ignored. The biggest challenge for
children
during the move to other
countries
is in terms of extreme climate.
Children
have to adapt to their new environment
due to
different climates. To illustrate, those from Indonesia, which is a tropical
country
have to adapt to extreme temperatures when they are moving to Scandinavian
countries
,
such
as Finland, Denmark, and Sweden which are sub-tropical
countries
.
Additionally
, languages
also
become an obstacle for
children
when they move to another
country
.
This
is because not all people in the world have English skills, they prefer to use their national language when they are communicating with visitors. In conclusion,
Although
moving to another
country
has some disadvantages for kids, I believe that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. The process of
children
to adapt in their new environment and studying traditional languages is better for their development.
Furthermore
, some
health
and
education
facilities and services in certain
countries
also
lead
children
to improve their skills and talents.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Try to address counterarguments more comprehensively. While you mentioned some drawbacks, adding more depth to these arguments can make your essay more balanced and nuanced.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both views and providing a well-reasoned opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that support the main points, and a concise conclusion.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • adaptability
  • cultural awareness
  • disruption
  • educational systems
  • emotional well-being
  • broaden perspectives
  • open-minded
  • personal growth
  • instability
  • rootlessness
  • sense of belonging
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