It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#money #lifestyle #illness #treatment #people

In a happy society, having a healthy way of life plays a crucial role. Because of

this

, a large amount of money has been spent to prevent

diseases

by encouraging a healthier

lifestyle

However

, some crowds argue that general finance should be used to treat

patients

who are suffering medical problems. From my perspective, while I agree to build healthy living, I believe that the treatment is equally essential. On the one hand, studies have shown that various illnesses nowadays are caused by an unhealthy way of living.

This

is because lots of

diseases

are the direct result of people’s habits. Take an example of obesity, which can be improved by reducing the consumption of fatty foods or sugar, and increasing the intensity of exercise.

Furthermore

, according to research by the CDC, promoting

lifestyle

modification is needed to control a range of

diseases

As a result

, the national burden of the

diseases

will be cut down.

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cardiovascular disease which is one of the most global burden

diseases

can be prevented through improving risk factors by the changes in

lifestyle

On the other hand

, numerous illnesses are unpreventable

such

as many forms of cancer, HIV/AIDS, some hereditary

diseases

, and so on.

Consequently

patients

who are already contracted these medical problems need long-term treatment. Taking into consideration, governments should come forward with a helping hand for those

patients

by implementing medical care policies.

For instance

, lots of free provide HIV medicines programs are supported by local authorities. In conclusion, both promoting a good

lifestyle

and spending money to treat

patients

who are being sick are equally important, and each country should develop flexible approaches to adapt to different situations.

Submitted by hoanganhthu.uphcm on Sat Dec 11 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive measures
chronic diseases
healthcare costs
public health campaigns
lifestyle-related illnesses
quality of life
health-conscious society
allocate funds
balanced healthcare system
comprehensive healthcare strategy

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It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Teenagers are prohibited to bring mobile phones to school. To what extend you agree or disagree?

Many countries have embraced tourism as a way to boost their economies and create Tobs for local residents. However some argue that tourism can have negative impact's on the environment and local culture's. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism for a country?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house and building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

The percentage of overweight children children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last decade. discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.