Is teaching people over 65 to use computers the best way to spend government money? To what extent do you agree?

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Is teaching people over 65 to use computers the best way to spend government money? To what extent do you agree? Nowadays, many people are of the opinion that training
seniors
on how to use the
computer
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
one of the great ways the governments can consider to allocate their public expenditure. In my opinion, I strongly believe that
this
way will benefit the elderly in many positive ways. By familiarizing themselves with modern technologies, the acquisition of
computer
knowledge makes
seniors
more confident in society. Old people can learn some basic
computer
skills
such
as word processing or browsing the internet.
As a result
, they will gain more confidence in the usage of technology and can operate these machines and software in the absence of other's assistance.
Consequently
, they make use of their skills to involve in several activities on the Internet
such
as social media or online forums. A survey conducted by the University of British Columbia found that
seniors
who participate in the online community feel less lonely compared to their peers.
Moreover
, electronic devices can shorten the distances between
seniors
and their descendants. As young generations spend most of their time on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media using their smartphones, their grandparents can communicate with them more frequently if they know how to operate their computers because their vision is limited to the usage of handheld devices . It is a great way for the elder to keep in touch with their grandchildren, and even to establish a new friendship online which can lead them to a positive lifestyle and improve their mental health. In conclusion, it is undeniable that knowledge of
computer
usage benefits senior citizens in different ways, and the government should consider spending more budget to educate them.
Submitted by hnamca on

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lexical grammar
Maintain consistency in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'training seniors on how to use the computer **is** one of the great ways').
lexical grammar
Try to avoid slight redundancies for better clarity (e.g., 'Modern technologies' and 'the acquisition of computer knowledge' can be merged for better flow).
coherence cohesion
Better linking phrases can be used to connect points more fluidly (e.g., 'Furthermore,' instead of 'Moreover,').
introduction
Strong introduction that clearly states the writer's opinion.
supported main points
Each body paragraph provides specific reasons and examples tied to the main point.
introduction conclusion present
Concise and effective conclusion that reaffirms the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive function
  • Digital divide
  • Lifelong learning
  • Cognitive decline
  • Digital inclusion
  • Autonomy
  • Reliance
  • Healthcare allocation
  • Elderly empowerment
  • Budget constraints
  • Intergenerational connections
  • Social connectivity
  • Online services
  • Technological literacy
  • Cost-effectiveness
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