IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Issues related to leisure activities have been discussed these days. There are some individuals who opine that free
time
Use synonyms
 should be dedicated to full rest whereas others believe that it should be spent on developing mental skills. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate on the reasons why I think that a combination of both viewpoints could be the most appropriate solution. On the one hand, in today's rapid age of modernization, people are coping with a variety of work which might result in depression and anxiety so that spare
time
Use synonyms
 is crucial for recharging their energy. An illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is given by my relative Tan, who is a typical blue-worker in China, being put under pressure of 996 culture, prolonged stress conditions are inevitable but he told me that everything he needs is full
time
Use synonyms
 sleeping. As a matter of fact, sleeping or being entirely relaxed assist human to reduce all negative repercussions occurred due to a stressful environment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
brain
Use synonyms
 exercises are proven to have positive impacts on ensuring optimal quality of life.
For instance
Linking Words
, mental activities
such
Linking Words
 as doing puzzles or reading not only help us to become cultivated but
also
Linking Words
 stimulate our
brain
Use synonyms
 to work better, which could prevent people from
brain
Use synonyms
 disorders or Alzheimer's disease, etc.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is beneficial to attribute spare
time
Use synonyms
 to
brain
Use synonyms
 training games to improve people's physical and mental health. All things considered, it seems to me that
besides
Linking Words
 spending break
time
Use synonyms
 on giving sufficient rest when we are completely drained, we can save it for
brain
Use synonyms
-related exercises in order to keep our lives in a balanced way.
Submitted by Mei Lovegood on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: