IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility for sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #people #governments #responsibility #control #individuals #intake
Over consuming
sugar
 has been one of the problems that many countries face in the current world situation because its own nutrition has disadvantages that outweigh advantages.
This
 makes many
people
 have concerned about the authorities should play an essential role to control it, while others believe that it should be ourselves to respond to
sugar
consumption
. The following paragraph will be discussing both opinions.
Therefore
, the conclusion has been reached. On the one hand, those who believe that each individual should respond to their own
sugar
intake
 might have an idea that we know ourselves better than others, especially in the case of
consumption
.
For instance
,
people
 who have diabetes that very sensitive to sweetness, they cannot rely on others about their
sugar
intake
, they need to take
care
 of themselves.
In addition
, these groups
also
 believe that we should respond to our actions because we should
care
 about what things we will consume and not be too reckless to consume anything that might not good for our health.
On the other hand
, the other group who believe that the governments should take a response to control
sugar
intake
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 might have an idea that at least the governments should address their
people
 to concern about their
sugar
consumption
.
For example
, the governments should make their
people
 to aware of the disadvantages of
sugar
intake
, or make some short information about what will happen if we do not
care
 about
sugar
consumption
, and the
last
 thing that the government should do is increase the
sugar
 tax to prevent
people
 addicted to
sugar
. In conclusion, the former and latter paragraphs are the perspectives of both groups. Personally, I believe that the government should take some responsibilities while
people
 should take
care
 of themselves.
Submitted by satoshi.nmtd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-consuming
  • unhealthy
  • government responsibility
  • control
  • sugar intake
  • taxes on sugary products
  • regulations
  • advertising
  • public health campaigns
  • associated risks
  • personal responsibility
  • self-discipline
  • dietary habits
  • advocating
  • nutrition information
  • empowers
  • informed choices
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!