As an international student in Sweden, you have an account with a local bank. The monthly bank transfer you receive from your parents has been delayed this month due to an error at your parents’ bank. Write a letter to your bank. In your letter: introduce yourself and ask for a loan say why you need the money tell how you intend to pay back the money
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
to applyfor ashort-term loan from your bank Linking Words
due to
a financial problem that Linking Words
i
am currently facing.
I am Ayush Shukla , and I have been a customer of your bank for 2 years now. I am applying for a short-term loan to pay college fees. Usually, my parents wire the money from my home country , but Fix capitalization
I
due to
Linking Words
the
technical error from my parents' bank , the remittance has been delayed for 2 weeks , and I am not able to pay my tuition fees on time. Correct article usage
a
Therefore
, I want a temporary loan of 5000 pounds, so that I can get admission for next semester.
I will make sure thatLinking Words
,
the whole amount is being paid off with the interest before the start of next month . Punctuation problem
apply
In addition
, I can provide any necessary documents or proof regarding the delayed transfer if required.
I would be extremely grateful if you could consider my request and provide assistance during Linking Words
this
difficult situation.
I look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
Ayush ShuklaLinking Words
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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but one point is not fully clear. You say you need money for college fees, but the task says monthly bank transfer from your parents. Add one short line about living costs or urgent payment needs.
task response
Task response: The letter tone is polite and formal. To make it better, say the amount in the local money for Sweden, not pounds.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are in a clear order: problem, reason, and pay back plan. This is good.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some linking is a little heavy with many commas. Use shorter sentences and simple links like 'because', 'so', and 'therefore'.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Your letter mostly does this, but the second paragraph is a bit long.
task response
Task response: You clearly ask for a short-term loan and give a reason.
task response
Task response: You explain how you will pay back the money next month.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear opening and closing.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The message is easy to follow from start to end.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite