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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that criminal behavior has genetic causes. Others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #behavior #circumstances #crime
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It is extremely hard to distinguish a
crime
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 originated by genetic issue or it
leaded
Correct your spelling
led
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 by someone to commit the
crime
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. It depends on
real
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the real
a real
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 situation.
A poverty
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Poverty
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 and
an
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apply
show examples
unemployment led someone to commit
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crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
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 on purpose. In my view, if
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
a crime
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 is done on purpose so that we need to consider
genetic
Correct article usage
the genetic
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causes
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 of
suspect
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the suspect
a suspect
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a detective obtains the root
causes
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 of
crime
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. I hope that we can find some answers
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the question
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question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
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 from that root
causes
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. It can tell us every detail of
crime
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 that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 why, when, and how. Certainly, we need to talk about genetic
causes
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, a police investigation team needs to discover
parent’s
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parents’
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 criminal records of
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a suspect
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suspect
Fix the agreement mistake
suspects
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.
For example
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, a group of people arranged bank robbery. In
this
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 case, a police department will analyze
genetic
Correct article usage
the genetic
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 issues of possible suspects.
However
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, we should remember that it is quite hard to determine criminal
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 has genetic
causes
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. I agree that lack of money and job loss
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 affecting some people to commit a
crime
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. if it is done randomly, perhaps we do not need to talk about genetic
causes
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. I suppose that authorities made decisions based on fact and evidence which can tell us what we should do
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
next
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.
For instance
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:
Poor
Correct article usage
a Poor
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 person
stolen
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stole
has stolen
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mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
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 phone from
passenger
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a passenger
the passenger
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
train
Correct article usage
a train
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. In
this
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 case, everything was clear that the purpose and the reason. I think that an investigation team will analyze
genetic
Correct article usage
the genetic
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causes
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 of
this
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crime
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 and they will update related information on
database
Add an article
the database
a database
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. In my opinion, there is a lot of
crime
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 incidents recorded in the police department every day. The Ministry of Justice should make a deep analysis of criminal
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and its relations. According to the Research report of Mongolian National University, extremely serious crimes
commit
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committed
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 by someone who has genetic
causes
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 of criminal
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. To sum up, I strongly believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 has genetic
causes
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.
Also
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, recent studies and law enforcement agencies have confirmed
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by tsembeek on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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