IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's character and culture from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #character #culture #choice #clothes
In
this
 day and age, Internationalisation has changed
people
's lifestyles, preferences and selection of attires to a greater extent. Many
people
 believe that dressing sense denotes about person's character, values and tradition widely. I completely disagree with
this
 concept and think that the way of dressing does not define a person's nature and morals.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate on it in a supporting paragraph.
To begin
 with, the majority of
people
 tend to
dress
 up because they get inspired by the influencers or
according to
 trends.
People
 strive to express themselves via certain dressing and dressing well
also
 makes them feel more pleasant, relaxed and confident at the same time. It is undoubtedly unfair to have judgement about someone just because of how they choose to wear or look.
For instance
, most asians work for renowned clothing corporations and they are more likely to wear trendy fashionable outfits, but that doesn't mean they lack the morals and
culture
 of their society, it is somehow a way of promoting the company's brand.
Hence
, someone's way of dressing or certain
dress
 code never substantiates their character and beliefs.
Moreover
,
dress
 codes often represent
people
's cultural differences, customs and traditions, creating respect towards their origins and ancestors. Numerous ethnic groups still wear their traditional
dress
 as it not only preserves their
culture
 but
also
 promotes it widely.
For example
, Muslim ladies tend to wear their
dress
 called hijab all their life to abide by the norms, values and
culture
 as it
also
 makes them more demure and submissive than most the
people
 living in
this
 contemporary society and it doesn't mean they are repressive or else, it rather shows their respect and beliefs towards their
culture
.
Hence
,
people
 wear different sorts of
dress
according to
 their
culture
 and norms and we should not be judging anyone because of how they look or what they wear.
To conclude
, no one should critique a person because of their appearance as it is the harshest thing to do in mankind and we should encourage
people
 to wear whatever they want to wear and not evaluate their character individually. So, I totally disagree with the opposite thought and support the idea mentioned above.
Submitted by asmitakhatri490 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Be sure to fully address the prompt by discussing your reasons for disagreeing in more depth and provide concrete examples to illustrate your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph that directly links to your opinion and then expand on that idea with well-developed arguments and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion fully encapsulate your argument. While you have provided these, you can improve by offering a strong thesis statement and a summarizing conclusion that echoes the central points of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to vary the structures of your sentences to add more richness to your writing. This will also help in connecting ideas more smoothly and maintaining the reader's interest.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: