IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Should government funding be spent on education and healthcare system? what is your opinion?

#government #education #healthcare #system
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate whether to spare
money
 on schooling and the medical system by authority. While each has its own redeeming features, I would
Correct your spelling
contend
show examples
content
Correct your spelling
contend
show examples
 that it is ideal to invest in both mentioned elements. Without a shadow of
doubt
Add an article
a doubt
show examples
, sparing the authorities' budget on the educational system is significant since education is one of the conditions to secure a job in the future. Nowadays citizens are living in a degree-based world, which means, the more degrees we have, the more opportunities we have to land a brighter job.
However
, because the tuition is prohibitively exorbitant
thus
 not everyone can afford it. By funding education, the governors can ensure that people with difficult and unfortunate circumstances can have the opportunities to attend a learning journey. So, in
this
 way, the economical condition will flourish. While the redeeming feature of sparing
money
 for education is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if funding the healthcare system is ignored. As society develops, many new and deteriorative diseases will appear that need treatment.
Therefore
, it is necessary to invest
money
 in top-notch facilities and research to cure diseases with high efficiency.
For example
, Covid 19 is dangerous with a high death toll and Viet Nam has to import equipment from abroad and invite experts to treat.
Besides
 pouring
money
 into schooling, authorities should fund medical care too.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: