Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

#argument #case #reader #specialist #topic #music #world #country #support #arguments #evidence

Imagine our world without any entertainment which will exist in case we vanish

music

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

our life. These sounds are the main bridge where education , history and culture

traveled

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travelled

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through every century from the beginning of humanity.

Therefore

, I

beileve

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believe

that international melodies are more significant

that

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than

show examples

traditional ones

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apply

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and they are considered

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apply

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essential tools for learning, healing and amusement. Presently, musical instruments are working an efficient role in many social facilities. In schools, teachers are using them to clarify difficult materials for students in a convenient way

such

as math courses which are recorded on musical

audio tapes

Correct your spelling

audiotapes

show examples

. Another benefit of

music

were

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was

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discovered in hospitals where it helps patients to remain calm during and after surgeries.

Finally

, there are many pieces and performances that are dedicated to specific occasions like weddings, funerals and concerts.

Secondly

, our planet is developing

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show examples

high speed with new technologies which are appearing every day, so there

Add a missing verb

is no

show examples

more place for traditional

music

. Young generations are seeking the modern trends in songs especially the one which scores high rate of listening or views without any consideration of its

orginality

Correct your spelling

originality

or historical background.

In addition

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show examples

that, the

wide spread

Correct your spelling

widespread

show examples

of social media

such

as Facebook, Youtube and Tiktok assist in the

advertisment

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of recent singers. These artists aim to expand their

audiance

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audience

worldwide, and they are not concentrating on the quality of their products. In conclusion,

music

is the

principale

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principal

principle

incentive for all other occupations whatever it is educational or professional. As result, I hope that

this

domain will unit us as

human

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a human

show examples

race known

with

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for

show examples

its compassion and love.

Submitted by eng.ali.hammoud.26 on Fri Dec 17 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to immigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Cyber insecurity is a rising problem in many countries. What problems does a lack of cyber security cause to Internet users? What solutions can you suggest to solve it?