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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

#people #house #apartment
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Some
people
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 choose to live in a
house
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, while others prefer to live in an
apartment
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 because they believe that there are more advantages.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that despite living in a
house
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Correct pronoun usage
that is
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is
Wrong verb form
being
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 more spacious,
people
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 who live in an
apartment
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 have more benefits because the
security
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 system is better and the price is more economical. On the one hand, living in a
house
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,
people
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 have
an
Remove the article
apply
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abundant space. An area in a
house
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 is large enough for every member
in
Change preposition
of
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 their family to have their own space where they can be themselves, whereas it is impossible for those who live in an
apartment
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.
In addition
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, with a spacious residence,
people
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 feel more comfortable and relaxing.
For example
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, they can lay down on a sofa bed in the living room and enjoy watching television with each other.
However
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, I believe that
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
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 can receive more benefits from living in an
apartment
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.
On the other hand
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, in order to live in an
apartment
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,
people
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 do not have to spend
huge
Add an article
a huge
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of money. The price of an
apartment
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 is affordable for almost every
saralyman
Correct your spelling
salaryman
 because it
do
Change the verb form
does
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 not include any property tax unlike buying a
house
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.
Moreover
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, there is a
security
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 system provided for
apartment
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's
resident
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residents
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. They can feel
more safe
Replace the words
safer
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 to live
in
Change preposition
apply
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here because of
twenty four
Add a hyphen
twenty-four
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 hours
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security
Change preposition
of security
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 guard. If
the
Correct article usage
an
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 unexpected situation
such
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 as theft or robbery
happen
Change the verb form
happens
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, not only
a
Add a missing verb
is a
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security
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 guard ready for giving you a hand but
also
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 an emergency alarm ring immediately for warning. These are the reasons why living in an
apartment
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 is the better choice. In conclusion, even though the space of an
apartment
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 is limited and not as spacious as the
house
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,
people
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 prefer to live in an
apartment
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 because they can save more money and feel
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
safer.
Submitted by Varaiphand on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
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