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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying both in and after school, and have less free time. Do you think it has the positive or negative effects on children and society ?

#countries #parents #children #time #school #effects #society
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Some
parents
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 believe that their
children
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 should spend more
time
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 on their homework rather than break. In my strong belief, having less leisure
time
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 has definitely bad effects on students' mental and physical health as well as social development.
This
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 essay will analyse how working hard on assignments influences pupils and society. On one hand, without a doubt , spending enough
time
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 studying is obligatory for each student and all
parents
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 must take some strict measures to encourage their
children
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 to do their assignments.
For example
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, if
children
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 consider
time
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 less than three hours for studying, they will surely fail in their exams and they will not become successful people for their families and society.
On the other hand
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,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
unfortunately
Add a comma
,unfortunately
show examples
 some
parents
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 force their
children
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 to study hard for more than 7 hours.It should be mentioned that it is disastrous and make big problems for them. In fact, they need to have some
time
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 for doing hobbies like stamp collecting and playing computer games or doing sports like football and hockey as well as spending specific times talking with their
parents
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, siblings and close friends.
Moreover
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, they must have extra
time
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 to participate in national festivals, social clubs and things like that in order to promote their personality level. By the way of conclusion,
this
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 essay stated the view of some
parents
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 about the amount of studying that there is not a balance between free
time
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 and study
time
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.
However
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, I believe that there must be a balance between work and life in order to be a beneficial person for your society.
Submitted by rmansori92 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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