IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is not the responsibility of billionaires to address social problems. They have created their own money by working hard and they should be able to spend it in anyway that they want to. If it wasn’t for billionaires, we wouldn’t have a lot of the things which we all enjoy today, such as X-boxes, iPhones and Tesla cars. We should be thanking them, not criticising them.To what extent do you agree with the above statement?

Billionaire's incomes have been contributing a gigantic amount of
money
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 to the world's economy for the past few decades. Even though
billionaires
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 have been making huge profits from their products or inventions, they do not have to be in charge of social problems. Wealthy people have created their very own
money
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 and we do not have any
rights
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right
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 to address how that
money
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 should be spent. Despite the fact that humanity is facing worldwide threats
such
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 as
:
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apply
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 poverty, global warming, and now the coronavirus pandemic. But it does not mean they have to give all their
money
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 to solve social difficulties.
Billionaires
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 have to work so hard to achieve what we are seeing nowadays. If it wasn’t for
billionaires
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, we wouldn’t have a lot of the things which we all enjoy today,
such
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 as X-boxes, iPhones and Tesla cars. We should be thanking them, not criticising them for not spending
money
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 on society's problems.
Moreover
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, they
also
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 have to deal with plenty of both financial and economical issues. Things do not always happen the way we wanted, so do the rich people. They have to pay taxes,
employee’s
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employees’
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 salary and all kinds of bills.
Besides
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 all the advantages, there are some drawbacks as well. If wealthy people get richer and richer and poverty still exists which will lead to wealth inequality. If
this
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 ever happens in the future, it may cause tension between two classes and war. In sum,
billionaires
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 neither should nor should not address social problems, they should
spent
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spend
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money
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 by their wills and interests.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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