IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that students who achieve the highest scorer in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #scorer #exams #show #progress
Some would argue that pupils should be compensated
such
 as awards or scholarships who have achieved high number in exams, whereas others say the
students
 who have shown improvement should be rewarded.
Although
 high scorers deserve compensation, in my opinion, the learners who have shown development should be rewarded. A few people believe in rewarding high scorers because rewarding makes them more competitive. They believe that competition creates a competitive mind who will not fail in later life.
Therefore
,
students
 strive to work hard to gain success for that specific competition.
For instance
, In most countries, international private schools organize competitions every quarter between inter-school pupils to make them more competitive to gain rewards.
However
,
this
 essay strongly agrees with rewarding a progressive student.
On the other hand
, a few believers believe that average performing
students
 should be pleased with the prize because it motivates them to engage in routine learning activities.
The motivation
Correct article usage
Motivation
show examples
 and encouragement is the key
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 leads to success for everybody including progressive
students
.
As a result
, pupils never feel disappointed among the top-performing
students
 if they show significant improvement in learning.
Additionally
, slowly made progress opens the door of knowledge
instead
 of focusing on specific subjects to gain only high-score.
For instance
, nowadays in Canada, the majority of organisation has started offering internship jobs to the average performing
students
 in college, which motivates them to complete studies. In conclusion, While promoting a high score achiever by giving rewards to them, I believe regular performing
students
 should be motivated by uplifting them in the form of prizes is far valuable.
Submitted by gparmar03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: