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Writing Samples
Band 7

Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with educational degrees. Therefore, the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals while they are still in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #show #crime #rates #degrees #rate #criminals #prison
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According to the researches, criminal activities usually are low when individuals have academic degrees. In my opinion, one of the best ways to reduce the level of crime is to educate imprisoned
people
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 in jail.
First
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 of all,
education
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 can change the prisoners' minds on the positive side and create future opportunities for seeking a job after release from prison.
For example
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,
people
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 who receive
education
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 in prison have a good chance to find a job in a short period of time,
also
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 they less probably doing crime again.
Moreover
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, the government can develop special fast-track study programs for imprisoned
people
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. Access to external resources
such
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 as local libraries and archives is
also
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 acceptable.
On the other hand
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,
education
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 has a positive effect on creating a connection with society.
Additionally
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, jailed
people
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 make them good and honest because they understand their mistakes and tried to avoid them in the future.
People
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 who want to become a part of society does everything to make themselves better than they are now. Research results show that educated and well-disciplined
people
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 never think about criminals. The main purpose of crime is to get money in the easiest way
such
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 as robbing, narcotics trade and other criminal activities.
Education
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 is
also
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 helping to create a mindset to evaluate others behaviour and influencing them to select the right way in life. In conclusion, it is an exemplary idea to educate jailed individuals while they spend their time in prisons. Without a doubt, all of these activities create for them a bright and optimistic future.
Submitted by samin.harraf on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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