Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#animals

While

some

people

believe that it is crucial to preserve all wild

animals

, others argue that

people

should only protect some of them. In

this

essay, I discuss both views and give my opinion.

To begin

with, there are many reasons why

people

should protect certain wild

animals

Firstly

, the priority of protection should depend on the endangerment of each genre of wild beasts.

For example

, tigers are on the brink of extinction so

people

should prioritize preserving them in comparison with other

animals

Secondly

people

protect certain

animals

because they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lack expense. It takes an abundant amount of money to allocate and pay for maintenance, food and labour which serve the wild

animals

Hence

, for better preservation,

people

should only take care of certain wild

creatures

By contrast

, there are various reasons why all wild

creatures

should be protected.

Firstly

, each genre of wild beast plays a vital and one-of-a-kind role in the ecosystem. Each type of animal has a special position in the food chain.

For instance

, one type of specimen can be prey to another specimen. If that prey no longer exists, the eater will be disastrously damaged.

In addition

, the diversity of

animals

has a major impact on human beings.

According to

recent studies, the diversity of wild

animals

is one of the main inspirations

Change preposition

for

show examples

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

art productions because of its uncommon, dissimilar, untamed beauty.

Therefore

, wild beasts should be taken care of whatever they are. In my own perspective,

people

should take all wild

creatures

under protection. Because all of the

alive

Correct word choice

living

show examples

creatures

have the same opportunity to dwell. Despite some difficulties, it is unfair to let aside some wild

creatures

Hence

people

should operate charity campaigns to gain money or donations to upgrade preserved systems. After that,

people

will be more ready

for protecting

Change preposition

to protect

show examples

more wild

creatures

, maybe all of them. In conclusion, it is a heated debate whether humans should preserve all wild

animals

or just some of them. In my opinion,

people

should pay equal attention to all wild beasts whatever they are.

Submitted by nhilm.lymannhi on Tue Dec 21 2021

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a single main point for clarity and coherence.

task achievement

Be more specific in providing examples and evidence to support your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

343 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Your friend wants to send her/his children to your house for the weekend. write a letter to him/her and say Agree to this arrangement say what time is suitable for you Describe what you are planning to do

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare.

Some people think that museum should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However, nowadays this information can be found through the Internet, so there is no need for museums. Do you agree or disagree with this view?