IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You want to learn a language. A teacher who teaches this language lives near the area where you live. Write a letter to the teacher. In your letter: - say how you came to know about him/her - explain why you want to learn this language - ask what help he/she can offer

Dear Sr/Madam, My name is Shaki, currently, I am looking for a teacher to teach me
Use synonyms
Chinese
Change the article
the Chinese
show examples
 language. I got your contact from Mr.John Sparrow. He said you are
such
Linking Words
 a brilliant teacher, and his son, Greg, has learned Mandarin for the past year with you, and he speaks Mandarin so fluently after a couple of months studying with you. I hope you would like to be my lecturer. The reason I want to learn the
Chinese
Use synonyms
 language is that I am planning to take
master's
Correct article usage
a master's
show examples
 degree in China next year. Even though I took the international school and my course will be fully in English, I still need to learn
Chinese
Use synonyms
 to speak with the local people. Especially for a daily conversation. At
this
Linking Words
 point, I will prioritise how to speak and read in Mandarin
first,
Linking Words
then
Linking Words
 slowly we can learn how to write in
Chinese
Use synonyms
. I would really appreciate your help in becoming my language teacher. Thank you in advance . Best regards, Shaki.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider using a more formal greeting such as 'Dear Sir/Madam' instead of 'Dear Sr/Madam'.
task achievement
Try to keep the tone consistent throughout the letter. For example, the phrase 'I hope you would like to be my lecturer' could be rephrased to sound more polite, like 'I would be grateful if you could consider being my teacher'.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs each focus on a single idea. For example, you can combine your reasons for wanting to learn the language into one coherent paragraph.
task achievement
The letter has a clear purpose and context, explaining the relationship with the teacher, which is essential for a letter of this kind.
tone
Your enthusiasm for learning the language comes through, which is likely to create a positive impression on the teacher.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: