IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In your opinion, do you think private schools provide an unfair advantage to students who can afford private education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#schools #advantage #students #education
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Primary
education
Use synonyms
 forms the basis for adolescents to lead
a successful lives
Correct the article-noun agreement
a successful life
successful lives
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.Private educations centres provide top-notch facilities and experiences to their
students
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 ,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 not everyone is capable to pay the tuition fees required for admission. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I would like to point out how private institute
students
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 have an advantage over
students
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 studying in public
schools
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,
Also
Linking Words
 how the
government
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 can step up to close
this
Linking Words
 gap. Well-funded
school
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 can afford a lot of facilities,
such
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 as a Huge Library, Playing ground, Computer Centers, and Amazing infrastructures,
Also
Linking Words
 they pay their professors and teachers heftily ,
Moreover
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 constant flow of funds are from
students
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 tuition fees. These things make sure that a growing child is well rounded ,
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Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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 career counselling is provided so that a child realise their dream at an early age.
For example
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, My
School
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, St Xaviers High
School
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 a private institute has 90% of its alumni pursuing a college
education
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 compared to 60 % in nearby public
schools
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Public
schools
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 lack basic infrastructure, Their teachers are paid less, And sometimes they even lack functioning computers.The major reason behind
this
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 is the lack of investment by the
government
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 in primary
education
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.Most of the kids attending
such
Linking Words
education
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 centres
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 are not guided well enough to make a career.
Therefore
Linking Words
 creating a gap between private and public
schools
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 alumni.The
Government
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 should invest more in
education
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 to bridge
this
Linking Words
 gap. For ,example the Delhi
government
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 over the
last
Linking Words
 4 years has invested significantly in the public
education
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 sector, making
students
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 passing out from
such
Linking Words
 institutes well rounded. In conclusion, Evidence points out that private
school
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students
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 are superior, But if we want to make it fair we need
government
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 support, and more importantly their money.
Submitted by surajgadhvi92 on

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