IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenagers and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #society
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescent should do charity
work
Use synonyms
 for the
communites
Correct your spelling
communities
community
 while they are free, as they think
this
Linking Words
 might be the
advanstage
Correct your spelling
advantage
advantages
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenager and our society. I strongly agree that teenagers should learn to do some unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 free time because by doing
this
Linking Words
 activity could
biuld
Correct your spelling
build
 their ability,
also
Linking Words
mighty
Replace the word
may
show examples
 make them understand the
reponsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 is very important in
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 future. In our community, it has a lot of
enderly
Correct your spelling
elderly
energy
people
Use synonyms
 and homeless
people
Use synonyms
 are needs to get help from others.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 old person to live alone and they need to have someone to help them mow the lawn, which they cannot effort to pay the gardener.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
 could help them to do
this
Linking Words
 job for free,
this
Linking Words
 would make them feel happy and live in a safe place, as
well-know
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
 in Australia it has lots of
snake
Change to a plural noun
snakes
show examples
. Another example, some homeless
people
Use synonyms
hopping
Correct your spelling
hoping
show examples
 to get a meal from the donation centre,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 department
are need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to help them to prepare food for the homeless
people
Use synonyms
, so if the adolescent could do
this
Linking Words
 job for them, it would be very helpful for the charity centre and the homeless
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should teach their kids to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 which
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could build up
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 ability and strong responsibility for
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 future life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think teenagers should spend more time
to study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
, which the
parents
Use synonyms
 believe to have a higher education
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have a bright future.
As a result
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 always ensure
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 children
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have a good job and live better
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when they are graduate from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
University. So, they rather
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
daugter
Correct your spelling
daughter
 or son are only
comcentrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
concentrated
 of study,
instead
Linking Words
 of doing any unpaid
work
Use synonyms
. As they believe after the young adult
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a good occupation, they can donate money to the community group. In conclusion, I believe teenagers should do charity
work
Use synonyms
 when they are young, which
this
Linking Words
 could make them understand in our society it has lots of
people
Use synonyms
 need to get help from others,
also
Linking Words
 it might let them understand when they
parents
Use synonyms
 are getting old they would need more care from
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 kids.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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