There are more new towns nowadays it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities and shopping centers for individuals to spend their free time to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe the new
cities
should have more
parks
and
sports
facilities
such
as football pitch, basketball court, baseball ground and suchlike. But, others believe that having more shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
and shopping malls is more crucial. In the following paragraphs, I intend to outline the arguments of both sides.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
in foremost,
parks
and particularly trees are essential for
for
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
human being and the main reason is that they produce oxygen which is an important element for
durability
Add an article
the durability
show examples
of almost all creatures that lives on earth. So having more
threes
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
and
parks
will bring more oxygen and more fresh air.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
it is vital for solving air pollution and new
cities
don’t face
such
problems. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Big
cities
are facing
this
crisis and it is hard to deal with
this
issue.
Furthermore
, Parksville
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
beautiful
Add an article
a beautiful
show examples
landscape for major
cities
.
for instance
, Central
park
Change the capitalization
Park
show examples
in New York
City
is one of the places that even tourists are attracted to it.
In addition
, if you live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
city
which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a lot of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
, you are likely to have more interest in
sports
. To make it simple, having more support
facilities
in the
city
will encourage people to do
sports
and it is really important for the health of the society.
On the other hand
, shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
and malls will have economical advantages. To make it clear, each mall and plaza have a lot of stores and each store need people to work in it.
As a result
, unemployment in that
city
will be not a major problem.
Moreover
, it will help citizens to find what they need,easier.
Sobthey
Correct your spelling
So they
Southey
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
show examples
have to look for what they want and it will help the traffic of the
city
. Having considered
Aforementioned
Correct article usage
the Aforementioned
show examples
arguments in some depth, I have reached the conclusion that including
parks
and
sports
facilities
is more significant for
cities
and I suggested the balance between
parks
and
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
complexes and shopping malls shouldn’t be overlooked.
Submitted by sia_21gr on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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