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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries people encourage teenagers to find part-time jobs. Some people agree and others don’t. Review both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #people #teenagers #jobs #don’t #review
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Working part-time has been widely discussed among
people
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. While some
people
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 argue that adolescents need to find part-time
jobs
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, others indicate that letting youth
work
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 part-time is not beneficial. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I think teenagers should not be encouraged to find
jobs
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.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 encourage
students
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 to get into the workforce as there are a plethora of benefits.
First
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 of all, young
people
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 will acquire know-how by having real-life experiences.
For example
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, they get to learn how to remain calm and resolve problems when they are confronted with problems after they experience similar episodes of conflicts with customers, colleagues or bosses.
In addition
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, they have an opportunity to know themselves.
For instance
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, a teenager who started to
work
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 as a cooking assistant because he/she loved to cook realised that he/she was very bad at cooking and began to find other occupations.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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 do not let adolescents have part-time
jobs
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 for there are myriads of disadvantages.
Firstly
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, working can draw
students
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' attention away from studying. It is undeniable that they can not concentrate on studying when they
work
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 hard and get exhausted.
Secondly
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, if teenagers had bad experiences
such
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 as exploitation, they will have a life-long trauma that will affect them negatively.
For instance
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, if they became a target of bullying at the workplace, it will be hard for them to overcome
this
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 trauma and become a decent member of society. To sum up, whilst encouraging youth to find part-time
jobs
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 has positive aspects
such
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 as increased know-hows and finding their aptitude, it
also
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 entails negative aspects. These include interfering with
students
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' studies and leaving them with life-long trauma. In my opinion,
students
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 should not be encouraged to
work
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 as disadvantages take precedence over advantages.
Submitted by narsysos on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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