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Band 7

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these view and give your opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Currently, there is a consensus among people that the best way in some tough circumstances is to accept them and move on.
However
, the rest of them believe in making efforts to alter
situations
 for the better. I personally take the view that improving the hard
situations
 is the best to do when we face them. In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss both and outline my view.
To begin
, some folks are experiencing inhuman working conditions that are difficult to bear, but they resist and tolerate the situation. They probably do not find contentment in their job, they accept it
due to
 their commitments or making ends meet.
Also
, some of them are under financial strain
besides
 a few more problems in their lives. I believe the reason lies in the fact that they are unlikely to want to change for the better.
Consequently
, many of these circumstances lead to different mental issues,
such
 as despair that could lower productivity and creativity in the workplace.
Moreover
, being dissatisfied with life and tolerating hard
situations
 for a long time could lead us to commit suicide.
However
, I take the view that people could change any difficult situation to feel that they are alive. Without hope to change and make efforts to alter the bad times, we could be just dead bodies moving around. A job is more than a paycheck.
Additionally
, it should be a sense of pride and self-respect.
Furthermore
, we should derive a sense of fulfilment from our job and feel respected for the quality of our work.
Besides
, feeling fairly compensated for our work gives us the energy to make more efforts, resulting in higher productivity and creativity.
To sum up
, I have the opinion that improving the situation is far more better than
stucking
Correct your spelling
staying
 in a bad position for a long time to be mentally healthier. Most of the time these attempts lead to success. So, there is no excuse to bear the difficult
situations
. It is only dependent on our attitude to life and our mindset.
Submitted by bb_emperator on

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task achievement
Try to use more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Specific examples can make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow within paragraphs by using linking words and phrases effectively. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and set a clear context for the discussion.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views and provides a clear opinion. This shows a good understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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