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Band 5

Some people think that parents should teach their children about the importance of recycling. Others believe recycling should be taught in schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #parents #children #importance #schools
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Nowadays a garbage recycling become crucial for everyone in order to protect our mother earth. At the same time, there are many
countries
Use synonyms
spent
Correct pronoun usage
that spent
show examples
 a lot of money on projects which are related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 recycling technologies. Most
children
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 learn life associated lessons from their
parents
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in
Change preposition
at
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their
Change the word
an
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 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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.
Therefore
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, our education system strongly supports
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 of modern recycling technologies from small grade to university students.
First
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, I remember that 50 years ago,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of families total income was just around 50 U.S dollars in many
countries
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.
However
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,
last
Linking Words
couples
Fix the agreement mistake
couple
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 of years, the average family income is becoming more than 2000 U.S dollars in developed nations so that these families creating more garbage’s
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with previous decades. The middle European and North American
countries
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 leading recycling technology in the world according to the UN report. I admit that they already spent
million
Correct your spelling
millions
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 and million
euros
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of euros
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for
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on
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development
Add an article
the development
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 of modern recycling technologies.
Furthermore
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, these
countries
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 improved their textbook and described the importance of recycling.
Secondly
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of the people remind each other advantages of recycling and push each other to follow up recycling rules.
In addition
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,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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private
companies
Correct the article-noun agreement
company
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 launched some social responsibility programs in order to change people's wrong habits of recycling.
For example
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, the GP battery producer launched their marketing activity just like asking people that "Please drop your used battery here" in many shops.
Such
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 social responsibilities
changing
Wrong verb form
change
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 human incorrect habits so that
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
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 society is learning from each other
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every day about right recycling. In my opinion, it depends on society because recycling is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
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 of both
parents
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 and
children
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, the most cases
children
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 are able to learn from their
parents
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe that both
parents
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 and schools should teach
children
Use synonyms
 about
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 recycling methods.
Submitted by tsembeek on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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