IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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It is true that an increasing number of
people
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 are keen on researching their family
history
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. There are many reasons which lead to
this
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 trend. In my opinion,
this
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 development is positive. From my perspective, two main reasons contribute to
this
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 phenomenon, namely the need for a sense of identity and the development of technology. To start with, nowadays in some parts of the world, more and more
people
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 want to prove that they are unique and special in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Therefore
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, looking for more details of the
history
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 of their own
families
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 is an ideal way for them to know themselves and their roots,
also
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 it can help them to develop their social identities.
Furthermore
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, another reason for
this
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 trend is the
overall
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 popularity of the Internet. It is quite convenient and possible for
people
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 to research the
history
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 of their own
families
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 on the Internet by going throwing electronic materials or accessing some online databases.
Also
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, many
people
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 like to share the old stories of their
families
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 on some social media platforms, which results in the prevalence of researching family
history
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. Personally speaking,
this
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 development can benefit our lives in many positive ways, including socializing , developing new hobbies for children and discovering lost relatives. First of all, studying family
history
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 can help
people
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 to improve their social life.
For instance
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, sharing family stories
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 a good taking point to start a conversation with a stranger and lead a closer relationship with your friends and family if you discover a particularly interesting ancestor.
Secondly
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, children may be motivated to develop their interests in
history
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 and related disciplines like geography, if there are more
people
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 in their family who are addicted to researching their own family trees and ancestral homes.
Lastly
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, sharing information about
families
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 may help
people
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 find “long-lost” family members or relatives. In conclusion, many factors contribute to the truth that more and more
people
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 are hooked on researching their own family
history
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. From my point of view,
this
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 trend is desirable.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates directly to the task questions, with each subsequent sentence developing or supporting that central idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay should begin with an introduction that includes a paraphrase of the question and a clear thesis statement, and conclude with a summary of the main points and a restatement of the thesis.
Coherence & Cohesion
When expanding on main points, make sure to provide a variety of complex structures and link ideas using a range of linking words accurately (e.g., moreover, consequently, in addition). This will increase the cohesion of the essay.
Task Achievement
Always directly respond to the task questions and cover all parts of the task within your essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas clearly and extensively. It is important that paragraphs are well-developed and ideas are not merely listed.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples inside your body paragraphs to strengthen your arguments. This can raise the quality of your task response and showcase your ability to think critically and reflect on the task's topics.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genealogy
  • Heritage
  • Ancestry
  • Lineage
  • Descendants
  • Forebears
  • Pedigree
  • Dynasty
  • Progenitors
  • Ethnicity
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Familial ties
  • Archival records
  • Hereditary
  • Kinship
  • Self-identity
  • Patriarchy/Matriarchy
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