IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The world should have only one government rather than a national government for each country. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #government #country #outweigh
The idea of
world
government
 is a theory
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 has been known since the dawn of history. Some people support that a single
government
 could manage all nations. From my perspective, the benefits of a single
government
 far outweigh its disadvantages. A single
government
 could be more efficient and effective in solving global problems
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 all nations are suffering in
such
 as climate change and
pandemic
Fix the agreement mistake
pandemics
show examples
. The
government
 will focus  highly on policy-making than conflict of interest and will be highly efficient
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 pushing and executing policies.
For example
, since
covid-19
Add an article
the covid-19
show examples
 outbreak is continuing to grow, some national governments did not face
this
 pandemic problem because of political factors from the beginning and led the whole
world
 to a huge crisis. After
covid-19
Correct article usage
the covid-19
show examples
 vaccine broke out, some countries could not increase vaccination coverage because of political factors and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 resources.
On the contrary
, a single
government
 might fix these kinds of problems that people struggle with now. A
world
government
 will sacrifice the benefits of some hard-to-reach populations and communities.  To be more specific, they can control and decide which place will handle nuclear waste and residents could not fight for
this
.
As a result
, minorities should be sacrificed under
this
government
.
However
, in the same situation, small national governments still can fight for their rights even if it is a majority decision. Overall, a
world
government
 might have many benefits in crisis solving.
However
, how to make
this
world
 fair is the main topic that humans need to concern themselves with.
Submitted by nanami641003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • centralized policies
  • international cooperation
  • global economy
  • trade barriers
  • military spending
  • authoritarian control
  • cultural diversity
  • national identities
  • local issues
  • homogenized
  • decision-making
  • democratic representation
  • world peacekeeping force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: