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Band 5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree (or) disagree?

#people #price #foods
Now a days
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Nowadays
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, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 facing
major
Add an article
a major
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problem
 of
weight
 gaining. Few
people
 believe
that
Change the determiner
that food item
those food items
show examples
food
items
 that cause
an
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apply
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obesity
, if sell them at
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 cost can resolve
this
 issue. I firmly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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by
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apply
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selling
the
Correct article usage
apply
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junk
food
expensive
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is expensive
show examples
 can solve
this
problem
 to some extent. Today,
number
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a number
the number
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 of
pupil
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pupils
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strugling
Correct your spelling
struggling
 with
the
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apply
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weight
 gain. And WHO gives
an
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a
show examples
 report that the in the future majority of the
people
 will have the
obesity
. They introduced many programmes related to
weight
 gaining
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 to overcome form
this
. The
first
 and foremost reason for
overweight
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being overweight
show examples
 is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 kind of
food
 that
people
 are having. Now we will discuss
about
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apply
show examples
the quality and range of the foods in the
obesity
problem
. The
food
items
 that
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 the
weight
 gain should sell at
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 cost and vegetables and
fruits
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 low cost.
Then
people
 usually prefer to have
the
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apply
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vegetables and
fruits
. If they consume healthy
items
 automatically they will lead
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to the
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the
Correct article usage
a
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good and healthy
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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. But, in
real
Replace the word
reality
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 it is adjacent,
such
 that the foods that can increase
weight
 and fat in
human
Add an article
the human
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 body are selling at very cheap rates and easily available everywhere and it is easy to carry
also
. So, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 prefer
the
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apply
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junk
food
 only. At the same time
fruits
, dry
fruits
 and vegetables which are healthy had
became
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become
show examples
 expensive and
usually
Add a comma
,usually
show examples
people
 are avoiding it to having them. By increasing the price of
food
items
 that leads to overweight is not only the major reason. We need to take care of our diet and should give preference to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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daily exercise.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 government should implement some instructions on the
food
 industries which prepares junk
food
 and should encourage
people
 to lead
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy life. To conclude
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
food
items
 that give rise to
obesity
 should be expensive and healthy
food
items
 should
get
Add a missing verb
be get
show examples
 at cheap rates. And it is an individual responsibility to have the controlled
on
Change preposition
of
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 their consumption and should follow a good diet with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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consistency.
Submitted by asma_parveen86 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
What to do next:
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