IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree (or) disagree?

#people #price #foods
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Now a days
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Nowadays
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, most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 facing
major
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a major
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problem
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 of
weight
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 gaining. Few
people
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 believe
that
Change the determiner
that food item
those food items
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food
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items
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 that cause
an
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apply
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obesity
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, if sell them at
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 cost can resolve
this
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 issue. I firmly believe that
,
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apply
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by
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apply
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selling
the
Correct article usage
apply
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junk
food
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expensive
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is expensive
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 can solve
this
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problem
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 to some extent. Today,
number
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a number
the number
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 of
pupil
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pupils
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strugling
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struggling
 with
the
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apply
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weight
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 gain. And WHO gives
an
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a
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 report that the in the future majority of the
people
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 will have the
obesity
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. They introduced many programmes related to
weight
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 gaining
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 to overcome form
this
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. The
first
Linking Words
 and foremost reason for
overweight
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being overweight
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 is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 kind of
food
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 that
people
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 are having. Now we will discuss
about
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apply
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the quality and range of the foods in the
obesity
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problem
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. The
food
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items
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 that
causes
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cause
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 the
weight
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 gain should sell at
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 cost and vegetables and
fruits
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 at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 low cost.
Then
Linking Words
people
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 usually prefer to have
the
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apply
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vegetables and
fruits
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. If they consume healthy
items
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 automatically they will lead
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to the
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the
Correct article usage
a
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good and healthy
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life style
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lifestyle
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. But, in
real
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reality
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 it is adjacent,
such
Linking Words
 that the foods that can increase
weight
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 and fat in
human
Add an article
the human
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 body are selling at very cheap rates and easily available everywhere and it is easy to carry
also
Linking Words
. So, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
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 prefer
the
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apply
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junk
food
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 only. At the same time
fruits
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, dry
fruits
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 and vegetables which are healthy had
became
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become
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 expensive and
usually
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,usually
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people
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 are avoiding it to having them. By increasing the price of
food
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items
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 that leads to overweight is not only the major reason. We need to take care of our diet and should give preference to
the
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apply
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daily exercise.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
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,hand
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 government should implement some instructions on the
food
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 industries which prepares junk
food
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 and should encourage
people
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 to lead
the
Correct article usage
a
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 healthy life. To conclude
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
food
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items
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 that give rise to
obesity
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 should be expensive and healthy
food
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items
Use synonyms
 should
get
Add a missing verb
be get
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 at cheap rates. And it is an individual responsibility to have the controlled
on
Change preposition
of
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 their consumption and should follow a good diet with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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consistency.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
What to do next:
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