Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing( for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, there were
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
technological advancements that tracked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human’s behaviour.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years have witnessed these technologies monitoring it. Both drawbacks along with benefits linked to
this
topic will be outlined in the following paragraphs. On the
one
hand, there are several beneficial sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
development. The most important
one
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
intelligent advertisement. It is undeniable that most companies would like to know the information of the buyers to analyze the decision of purchasing their products, resulting in the encouragement of having a big data of their customers, which, in turn, tend to specific the customer’s target when shooting the ads, regardless of the proper method. Another foreseeable plus is the development of artificial intelligence.
The big
Correct article usage
Big
show examples
data is often
one
of the main factors behind the production of AI nowadays, which, in fact, might well result in the improvement of technological advancements. Without a doubt, the progression of producing AI will eventually benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. There are,
on the other hand
, a host of detrimental sides that people experienced
this
technology.
First
and foremost,
one
significant counterargument is the deficiency of privacy. There is
universal
Correct article usage
a universal
show examples
consensus that hardly any mobile owners have not to lose their
private
Replace the word
privacy
show examples
to the public by being tracked
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile devices. An outstanding example of
this
seems to be that applications from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological devices tend to record almost
Correct article usage
the conversation
show examples
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
of the users.
As a result
of
this
, they are more likely to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
intrusive advertisements from the apps.
Last
but not least, a
further
one
is the threaten of the hackers.
This
is because the
privacy
Replace the word
private
show examples
data of users will be kept on the cloud platform, which is easy to be hacked. To illustrate,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years have witnessed a number of online criminals who not only hack
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crucial information, including credit card number, and
username
Fix the agreement mistake
usernames
show examples
and
password
Fix the agreement mistake
passwords
show examples
, from the users but
also
use it to steal
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money. To sum up, even though people being monitored by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological advances has many beneficial perspectives, the
detrimential
Correct your spelling
detrimental
perspectives unavoidably outweigh them. Were people to limit be tracked by the technology, it is more likely that they will have
happier
Add an article
a happier
show examples
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by watunyu.s on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: