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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation #outweight
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These days, the population of several nations demonstrates a large proportion of young persons, in comparison to elderly
people
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 young adults can be more beneficial in terms of hard work and study,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society needs elder
people
Use synonyms
's experiences and knowledge .In my opinion, both young and old
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 are
necessarily
Replace the word
necessary
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 for an efficient community. On the one hand, a person's youth more likely starts when
people
Use synonyms
 at the end of their teenage years with lots of power and energy fly the nest and become independent,
obviously
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,obviously
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 a basic upside here is when they try to make efforts to the world around them . Admittedly,
to take
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taking
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 their
first
Linking Words
 steps in finding their career is known as a passionate feeling for them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the ability to establish a family and give
a
Remove the article
apply
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birth to a child in order to save their country population is a significant benefit.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite the fact that older
people
Use synonyms
 have less strength, the absence of them in a society is a drawback for the simple reason that, they are full of experiences because they lived longer and they have been in different situations and went through various problems.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when youngsters face
into
Change preposition
apply
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an issue they visit elders to ask for help. In conclusion, even though there are major disadvantages related to
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
an old nation or a young nation there are uncountable benefits associated with having both age period timelines together.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic shift
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • social evolution
  • curricula
  • health care costs
  • pension systems
  • mentorship
  • generational imbalance
  • unemployment
  • job markets
  • tax burden
  • adoption
  • development
What to do next:
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