IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Nowadays in many countries traditional customs are becoming less popular than in the past. Do you agree or disagree? What can parents and teachers do about this?

#countries #customs #parents #teachers
It is argued that people prefer to wear western clothes
instead
 of traditional clothes. I
also
 believe that conventional clothing is disappearing in many
countries
 and I think that if
parents
 and
teachers
 make some efforts
then
 it would be controlled. There are some reasons why traditional attires are not more preferable by many
countries
. One main reason is the influence of western
culture
. Nowadays generation wants to follow developed
countries
 and they try to adapt their lifestyle in their life.
This
 is happening because Young people are fading away from ancient
rituals
 in order to the hectic schedule of
parents
 in
this
 modern era as well as they do not have
time
 to spend quality
time
 with their
children
 .For
this
 reason, young ones do not come to know about their traditional
culture
.
Consequently
,
parents
 should spend some
time
 with their
children
 and share background things related to their traditional customs,
culture
 and
rituals
.
Moreover
,
children
 spend their most of
time
 in school.
Thus
, schools can organize
this
time
 of sections that help to connect students in their society.
For instance
,
teachers
 should make an effort to gather history and traditional attires. As they should conduct some dramas and activities which are related to traditional
culture
. So, these things make it interesting to follow ancient
rituals
 and young ones can easily understand it and try to involve it in their life.
Therefore
, if
parents
 and
teachers
 want to provide knowledge to them ,
then
children
 will definitely try to follow their ancestors. In conclusion,
although
 with the influence of developmental
countries
 traditional
rituals
 are becoming less popular, they will be reduced with the right guidance of
teachers
 and
parents
 to young people.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: