In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problem for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

generally live longer than before

due to

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science, medicines and nutrition foods.

However

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, the ageing

population

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is a controversial issue today. On the one hand, many

people

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believe that it has some advantages

such

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as mentoring and a decrease in crime,

on the other hand

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, some

people

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think that few drawbacks to the economy of the elderly

population

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This

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essay will describe the extent to which the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

It is clear that

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elder

people

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are increasing day by day. The biggest benefit of

this

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situation is that older

people

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can do mentorship for younger

people

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. Usually, young citizens need a lot of advice about their lives and careers. If the ageing

population

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increases, young

people

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can find useful advice. Another case is criminal issues. Today the world is really dangerous and research has shown that younger humans are more dangerous than older

people

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. Because young

people

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have got so many ambitions more than older

people

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's. So, because of

this

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statement, if the ageing

population

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rises, criminal issues fall.

On the other hand

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, the community which has many older individuals brings some handicaps. The most important

trouble

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problem

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about

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apply

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the economy. Aged humankind generally can not work any jobs.

As a result

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this

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, Government have to care for these humans.

This

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situation causes economic problems and pressure on governments. Another problem is health care expenses. When

people

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become elderly, they need so much health care, medicine and doctor services. These expenses pressure on government budgets.

To sum up

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, taking everything into account, the increasing elderly

population

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has both benefits and drawbacks. But it seems to me that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages. Because of mentorship and decreasing criminal issues.

yito18750Tue Dec 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

Focus on refining logical flow between paragraphs to improve clarity and coherence.

task achievement

Provide more concrete examples to support claims and enhance the argument.

language use

Work on varying sentence structures to improve readability and avoid monotony.

introduction conclusion present

Clear introduction and conclusion effectively outline the topic and provide a summary.

task achievement

Acknowledges both advantages and disadvantages, maintaining balance in the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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