IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss Both views and give your opinion.

#people #attention
In the commercial world, it is often argued that many people are successfully persuaded to buy goods by advertisement, while others believe that
advertisements
 can be seen everywhere,
as a result
, people usually ignore them. From my perspective, only attractive ads shooting to the target customers can influence. On the one hand, advertisement plays an important role in the marketing world, as it acts as a strong persuasive device.
This
 is because it always manifests great characteristics of each product with interesting strategies.
For instance
, some brands hire famous celebrities to present the products to gain more reliability and attention and some send messages directly to the consumers to offer them a promotion.
Therefore
, many fall for these and buy their goods and services immediately.
On the other hand
,
advertisements
 are too ubiquitous. They appear everywhere, ranging from billboards, television, the internet, or even flyers. Since society has seen the same commercial broadcast for dozen times, they tend to get annoyed and eventually try to avoid the repetitive advertisement. A solid example can be seen from Youtube as many viewers always skip the ads shown before the video.
Thus
, the companies cannot pull customers' attention and lose them. From my point of view, people usually pay attention to ads that are related to their needs. Take Shopee, an online shopping platform, as an example,
this
 company uses artificial intelligence, the technology that can identify the individual's needs and promote the right commercial broadcast to them. After the approach is adopted for three months, their sales increase by 30 per cent.
Hence
, I believe that
advertisements
 can be successful when they are promoted at the right time and right person. In summary,
although
 some
advertisements
 can be irritated, when they are presented to their target, the accomplishment in selling can be seen.
Submitted by Rain on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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