IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the era of technology, discussions about whether technology will threaten certain types of occupations. Some claim that most
jobs
Use synonyms
 will be invaded by these machines in the near future. In my opinion,
robots
Use synonyms
 will play a significant role in the future, but they will not take over the whole job market.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, each and every machine or robot has been designed and developed by human minds. It is true that these artificial creatures can do a lot of things, but they require someone to program
with
Correct pronoun usage
them with
show examples
 correct
instruction
Fix the agreement mistake
instructions
show examples
 in order for them to operate. No machine can
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 own decision because they are not capable of thinking.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there will always be vacancies for
jobs
Use synonyms
 that need intelligence.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these devices should be designed by someone, always those tasks are
done
Rephrase
always done
show examples
 by human beings.
For instance
Linking Words
, a robot can instruct to repair a car, yet only humans can design a car
that is
Linking Words
 comfortable for users to drive as that needs a higher level of intelligence. Another common fact is that
robots
Use synonyms
 cannot process empathy.
As a result
Linking Words
, they would not be used as judges and doctors who need social skills.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, certain categories of
jobs
Use synonyms
 will be taken over by these artificially intelligent machines. Most labour
works
Replace the word
workers
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
only need to repeat some procedures .
Hence
Linking Words
, those types of work will be replaced by
robots
Use synonyms
 in the future.
Consequently
Linking Words
, people should move away from works that only need physical strength and learn that work requires mental skills.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 that contain repeated procedures are taken over by
robots
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, these electronic and mechanical devices will not be able to take over the occupations that need empathy and personal views.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your introduction presents the topic well, it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement outlining your main points.
task achievement
Make sure to develop your points more fully, especially in relation to the future of jobs. Providing more depth could enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider using clearer transitions between your points to ensure the reader can easily follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, rather than starting with 'To sum up', summarize your key points without repeating the words verbatim from the body of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, addressing both sides of the argument effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples which help to explain your points.
coherence cohesion
Your use of paragraphs is effective in structuring your ideas clearly, which aids in readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • automation
  • robotics
  • futuristic developments
  • analyze data
  • analytical precision
  • human capabilities
  • emotional intelligence
  • human interaction
  • human oversight
  • strategic decision-making
  • nuances of human judgment
  • technological landscape
  • intrinsic human qualities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: