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Band 5

Parents should be held legally responsible for their children’s acts. What is your opinion? Support it with personal examples.

#parents #children’s #acts #support
In
this
 modern era of technology, children should be guided in
aproper
Correct your spelling
a proper
proper
 way to bring up a good person. Some believe that
parents
 should control their kids in early childhood others suggest that freedom should be given to them. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will suggest why
Add an article
a parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 should control the behaviour of their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 and give
some
Correct pronoun usage
them some
show examples
 independence in their education. To support the
first
 point of kids behaviour should be controlled by their
parents
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 they
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
don't
 know what is good or bad. They behave the way their family act
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of them. So as to make the children as a
nobel
Change the capitalization
Nobel
show examples
 person other and father need to pay attention
on
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 their own response in front of them.
For example
, one of my
cousion
Correct your spelling
cousin
cousins
 bring up in a metro city as a cruel and cold blood personality due to less attention paid by their busy
parents
 on his nature.
On the other hand
, there should be some relaxation given to the students in their studies so that they can take their own decision.
Infact
Correct your spelling
In fact
 elders should help them to solve their problems.
This
 will help in their future when they face actual life problems and would be able to solve themselves.
This
 path
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 them to grow in a positive way.
For example
, if a daughter child
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
want
Change the verb form
wants
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 to pursue the
univesrity
Correct your spelling
university
 for her higher studies due to her passion in
other field
Change the wording
another field
other fields
show examples
. She should not be forced for same and allowed to proceed
further
 as per her interest. In
Add an article
a nut
show examples
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
show examples
, to reiterate above points
parents
 should control the behaviour of their kids by devoting some time towards them and give freedom in their studies to generate a nice and educated person.
This
 will help in the growth of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full of passion and high dreamers.
Submitted by davinderkaur3190 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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