IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
I believe that the main purpose of
businesses
 is making money.
However
,
businesses
 are accompanied by some social responsibilities which owners of them should consider.
Firstly
, I think that the most important social responsibility is in relation to
employees
 of a business. Managers and owners of a company are responsible to have social interaction with their staff in order to make a strong connection with them.
For instance
, managers have to have monthly meetings with their
employees
 to find out and discuss their problems in their workplace, and they have to attempt to solve them.
Thus
, these kinds of meetings make
businesses
 thrive and encourage the
employees
 to work more productively.
In addition
, it can be useful that companies hold some entertainment activities on some occasions
such
 as football games. These activities improve the relationship of
employees
.
Also
, giving holiday subsidies to
employees
 will make them be more responsible and interested in their job.
Secondly
, it is essential that owners of giants ,
such
 as Amazon, take part in some charity.
Also
, they can be sponsors of some matches or concerts to gather money for disadvantaged people. In
this
 way, they can enhance both their fellow citizen's quality of life, and they will be more popular and famous among people.
In other words
, their returns will increase because it is likely that more clients become encouraged to buy their products.
Also
, more other companies become interested in making a contract with them. General, all these social activities can be in favour of their own
businesses
.
Therefore
, in my point of view,
businesses
 do not have to ignore social responsibilities which are useful for both themselves and their society.
Submitted by atoosa_1398 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
What to do next:
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