One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

People

have different views about the improvement in medical care, which leads to

people

are living longer and

life

expectancy

is increasing. In my opinion, I believe that advantages outweigh disadvantages. On the one hand, there are several benefits when

people

’s

life

is longer.

Firstly

, longer

life

expectancy

gives

people

more chances to serve their country for a long period and contribute their talent for the

develop

Replace the word

development

show examples

nation

Add an article

the nation

a nation

show examples

. Many professionals like teachers,

politician

Fix the agreement mistake

politicians

show examples

, researchers, mathematicians, writers and so on can contribute more to their

matured

Replace the word

mature

show examples

and older ages.

Secondly

, the longer

life

expectancy

will let the grandparents spend more time with their grandsons and granddaughters. They will teach them about values and traditions. The new generation will

also

learn the past history which is important for

improvement

Add an article

the improvement

show examples

of the country.

On the other hand

, there is a drawback

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

statement.

That is

out of resources. Many countries are facing

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

starvation and poverty as food production is not enough to feed

people

around the world, when

people

live longer, there will be more

people

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

not

Change the form of the verb

accepted

show examples

to retire at

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age.

This

will lead to unemployment for

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation. Many young

people

will not

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to get a job because old

people

will hold these positions. In conclusion, I believe that longer

Correct your spelling

life

show examples

lifer

Correct your spelling

life

show examples

expectancy

has more advantages than disadvantages.

Life

is very important and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should invest more money in

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

care system in any way possible. To

people

live longer and contribute to their family and country for as long as possible.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Thu Dec 30 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that written communication is much less powerful than face to face interaction when it comes to conveying a message. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.