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Band 5

The financial gap among the wealthier and non-wealthier

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Introduction
The financial
gap
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 among the wealthy and non-wealthy
people
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 is rising exponentially which lead to
raise
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the raise
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 assets for rich
people
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 while increasing properties for
poorer
Correct article usage
the poorer
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will suggest that how
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
Add a missing verb
is imbalance
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imbalance
Correct your spelling
imbalanced
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because of
this
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gap
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, and recommend the solutions of imposing higher taxes on wealthy
people
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 and
stimulate
Wrong verb form
stimulating
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 them for charity in order to create a balance in
whole
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the whole
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society
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.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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,
majority
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the majority
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 of
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the nation
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nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 are not suffering from economic instability for that reason.
This
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 is certainly because of the big
gap
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 between rich and poor sections of
society
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. Since a
country
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's economy depends upon the natives of
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country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 .
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
people
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 or weaker
section
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sections
show examples
 are not good with that. So
income
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the income
show examples
 of all the classes is considered bad
,
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apply
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 while considering the economic growth of
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country
Add an article
the country
a country
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, which comes from the majority of the population
that is
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 not economically strong .
Hence
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,despite having fewer wealthy elite ,the economy of the
country
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 would be weak
that is
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 a weakness towards the nation's growth and development.
For instance
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, a
country
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 like
india
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India
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, which is the
birth place
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birthplace
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 of several famous celebrities and
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businessmen
businessmens
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businessmen
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 whose name can be seen in
forbes
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Forbes
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 list of richest persons of
asia
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Asia
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, still lack
with
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apply
show examples
the GDP of the
country
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. Not only
this
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, with
this
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 trend, feeling of
envyness
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Inverness
 is developed among weaker section of
society
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, towards that the higher one, when they watch richer
people
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 wasting money on buying property on
moon
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the moon
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 or gifting each other fancy cars
,.
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,
.
show examples
Therfore
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Therefore
, they consider the celebrities as a treasure of
lord
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the lord
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 and opt for negative and
malacious
Correct your spelling
malicious
 activities
such
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 as robbery and kidnapping, which lead them to spend
whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
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 life in jail, when they are nabbed by police.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, the problem is not without its solutions. The states could twofold the taxes on the incomes of the famous wealthier
people
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that Money collected from taxes could be utilised for the well being of
weaker
Correct article usage
the weaker
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 section of
society
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. The economically weaker
,
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apply
show examples
 would
thus
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 feel
themselves
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apply
show examples
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part of the community and would themselves, feel reluctant of putting a bad eye on famous
people
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 wealth.
Additionally
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, the richer elite should be encouraged to think of their responsibility towards
community
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the community
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 and should donate a minimal share of their earnings to the charities,which after publication on the
Tvs
Correct your spelling
TVs
 ,make
people
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 realize that robbing
such
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 humble personalities for
thieir
Correct your spelling
their
 own sake is not a good idea.
Conclusion
In conclusion, jealousy among
people
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 and lack
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 GDP of a nation are the catastrophic effects that are caused by
rich-poor
Correct article usage
the rich-poor
show examples
gap
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;
however
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, solutions
such
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 as doubling the tax rate of richer and charity
encouragment
Correct your spelling
encouragement
 might help to ameliorate the problem to quite an extent

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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