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Writing Samples /
Band 6

1. Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#people #families #care #homes #trend
Nowadays, most old
people
's are live in age
care
 houses or retirements home. In the past, young
people
 used to look after their
parents
 and live together. In the following ,paragraphs I will discuss the benefit and drawbacks of
this
 essay. In today society, many
people
's are busy at work because they are trying to make more money to live a wealthy life.
Therefore
, they do not have times to look after their
parents
 anymore. ,
Also
 some
people
 have been relocated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 foreign countries,
as a result
, the
parents
 were refused to go with them.
Furthermore
, some women do not like to live with their mother or father in law because old
people
's and young
people
 are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
totally different lifestyles. In these cases, when the
parents
 get too old and they need someone to look after them with dairy activities. So the better scenario for them is to live in the health
care
 home to get professional
care
, which that the young persons can achieve the goal. Years ago, the
son
 used to live with his
parents
 after they got married because it was a traditional rule. In many Asian countries, sons must live with their
parents
 until they pass away, as the
parents
 were going to give all money and property to the
son
. Eventually, a traditional rule father and mother were looking after their
son
 when he was young, and when his
parents
 getting old the
son
 must take
care
 of them ,
however
, some
parents
 are hoping to live in their own house with their family, as they are like to live with they grandchildren which if they stay in the retirement home they will feel lonely and uncomfortable. In summary, I believe most of the
parents
 are enjoy living in their own house and with family together, as
this
 is a natural thing but sometimes when the young
people
's are too busy at work they have to live in the
care
 age.
Therefore
, young
people
's will have less stress and more success with their careers.
Submitted by junechan822 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional care
  • Medical attention
  • Trained staff
  • Social interaction
  • Combat loneliness
  • Safety and security
  • Relief for families
  • Loss of autonomy
  • Emotional impact
  • Cost
  • Financial strain
  • Quality of care
  • Neglect and abuse
  • Detachment from family
  • Mental wellbeing
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