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Band 6.5

In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about this?

#countries #level #crime #crimes
Nowadays,
crimes
 are becoming more violent than before, as the number of
crimes
 is increasing year by year.
This
 essay will examine the cause of
this
 problem and suggest ways that prevent
crimes
 issue. Two main factors are behind the rise in crime and violence. The
first
 is the economy going down because of the Covid-19 restriction, which many
people
's to tohave lose their jobs, whereas
people
's are needs money for living.
Therefore
, some
people
's become stealers to survive the situation. The
second
 factor is drug problems which intakes of too many
drugs
 can cause mental problems,
as a result
,
drugs
 can make a person feel happier as the brain cannot function properly. So that, it will make them feel more powerful
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when they are trying to flight with others.
In addition
, is it have two ways to decrease the number of
crimes
.
Firstly
, the government should set up a diversity program to help
people
's, who has financial problems due to the Covid-19 Pandemic.
Secondly
, the government should ensure that society is free of
drugs
 and if someone wants to be a drunker he or she will get serious punishment or send them to prison for at least five years jail and is it depends on how much drug they have. In summary, to avoid
crimes
 number are rising, the main thing is to make sure everybody gets looked after by the government.
Also
, to prevent
people
's getting more clues,
drugs
 should be banned forever and drugmakers should receive heavy punishment.
Submitted by junechan822 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • violent crimes
  • socioeconomic factors
  • law enforcement
  • technology
  • education
  • employment
  • drug abuse
  • alcohol abuse
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • effectiveness
  • investing
  • job creation
  • social support
  • community engagement
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