The relatively recent development of games on phones, computers, and TV consoles is extremely popular with people all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such electronic games?

There is no doubt that electronic
games
are taking all over the world. Nowadays,
individuals
have been seen playing
games
on their phones, laptops, and televisions and it is not a surprise at all. Playing
games
have both positive and negative effects on
people
. Let us discuss it below.
To begin
with, Some
people
say that, playing video
games
can improve cognitive skills. It can help adults in multitasking, thinking and problem solving but at the same
time
, it can become an addiction. Addiction to playing technology
games
will drain the memory of
individuals
and it
also
sucks the energy. Electronic
games
can be harmful to the brain as it can lead to loss of memory. There is another advantage of playing electronic
games
that can improve social skills.
For example
, when
individuals
play video
games
on the global network, they socialise with different
people
from different parts of the world. But, at the
sametime
Correct your spelling
same time
, it can result in social isolation and negative relationship problems towards other family members. Gaming has
also
become a business in terms of money. There are a lot of online
games
which
individuals
can download and play but before downloading it, they need to pay the amount first. At the same
time
, it has disadvantages
also
.
For instance
,
Individuals
put themselves in a habit of buying
games
and other accessories which results in a waste of their
time
and money.
To conclude
my topic, I would say
individuals
need to practice mindfulness because electronic
games
have benefits
as well as
non-benefits. They need to stay balanced in their lives.
People
need to watch their steps towards video
games
in terms of whether it is wasting their
time
or it is beneficial for them. In short, they need to be mindful.
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

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task achievement
You should aim for more specific and relevant examples to support your points. General statements tend to weaken your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical connections between points. Use more linking words and ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining a strong structure.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of electronic games, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive functions
  • problem-solving skills
  • spatial awareness
  • multitasking
  • addiction
  • attention span
  • online multiplayer games
  • teamwork
  • communication skills
  • social isolation
  • economic impact
  • revenue
  • financial strain
  • stress relief
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • sedentary lifestyle
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