Some people think that violent sports such as martial arts and boxing should be banned from international competitions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #arts #competitions

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Aggressive activities like judo and karate and getting famous

day

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day

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lot of people take part in

such

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activities.

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, International competitions

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organised

such

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games. while many believe that these activities should be removed from global rivalling. I oppose

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view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs Various kinds of martial

arts

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like Kungfu, Karate, boxing and so on are becoming more and more popular

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as a form of self-defence as well as sport.

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we can see martial

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in many international events

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the Olympic sports, Asian gaming etc.

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the intention of those games is never to hurt someone, players do get injured occasionally. addition some parents say that their children are becoming aggressive after watching these events.

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,a number of people have started to think that all forms of martial

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are too violent to be a part of international competitions.

On the contrary

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, the true goal of martial

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is self-defence. It is

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a form of self-discipline which makes a person a better version of himself. It teaches someone the necessary skills to protect themselves from the perpetrator if the situation arises.

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, it strengthens both body and mind. A recent study has shown that people who practise martial

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or at least take an interest in it are more positive towards life than others. They are well-mannered, confident and helpful towards fellow human beings. Children are

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benefiting from it as it is a great sport,

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parental guidance is necessary in

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regard. To summarize, we can say that, even though there are small injuries and minor risks, the advantages of martial

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outweighs its disadvantages in every aspect. So, I do not see any reason to ban them from international events.

Submitted by puri1596 on Sat Jan 01 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

serious injuries
long-term health problems
fatalities
protect athletes
promote aggression
violent behavior
impressionable audiences
personal choice
cultural heritage
infringement
economic aspects
financial benefits
economic repercussions
better regulations
stricter safety measures
reduce risks
preserve the sport

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Some people think that violent sports such as martial arts and boxing should be banned from international competitions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments

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