IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicines. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Health
Use synonyms
 is the wealth of every human being whereby
deprive
Wrong verb form
depriving
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 any
health
Use synonyms
 issues is more important among
people
Use synonyms
 as well as
government
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, medical treatment cannot guarantee complete recovery so, imparting
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 choice of life is an essential motto of good community programs. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain my complete acceptance of
government
Use synonyms
 funding on
health
Use synonyms
 development. Mitigation of physical problems and lifestyle diseases can be achieved through
collective
Correct article usage
the collective
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 responsibility of governmental authorities because they can apply
health
Use synonyms
 education among citizens.
Besides
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this
Linking Words
, primary
health
Use synonyms
 centres and
Government
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 medical
College
Fix the agreement mistake
Colleges
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 can apply community
health
Use synonyms
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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 and medical camps for the prevention of
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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such
Linking Words
 as diabetics, high blood pressure and other chronic illness.
For example
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, In Sweden,
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 department provides free healthcare
checkup
Fix the agreement mistake
checkups
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 for every citizen whereby it helps to eliminate bad habits like
a
Correct article usage
apply
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chain smoking
Add a hyphen
chain-smoking
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,alcohol addiction and drug abuse Reportedly,these programs became more
success
Replace the word
successful
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 in Sweden because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 reduce various
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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 diseases among youth. Another key thing to remember,allocation of
government
Use synonyms
 subsidies and allowances on generating
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
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 well-being of
people
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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,
appointment
Add an article
the appointment
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 of enough staffs nd provides money for technical development hospitals.
Secondly
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, impart more labs and research studies in the field of medical science because it helps to develop significant changes in the concept of
people
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. To illustrate
this
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, the
Government
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 of India spent more than 115 million money
for
Change preposition
on
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 making covid vaccination.Resultantly, now more than 7 approved vaccines were found in
Indian
Add an article
the Indian
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 market .
Therefore
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the
people
Use synonyms
 have their treatment and they are safe from coronavirus. In conclusion, there is a saying 'prevention is better than cure'
similarly
Linking Words
government
Use synonyms
 should initiate
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle for
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of building hospitals for them.
In other words
Linking Words
,
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
a healthy
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 citizen is the wealth of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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. So
government
Use synonyms
 should always facilitate happy and prosperous life for all human beings.

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