Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some academic students prefer to learn more about subjects
further
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
their own main
one
while
others think it is crucial to dictate all their time and effort to their main
one
.
Although
spending time to
study
and gain knowledge in majors other than your main
one
will expand your background information, I believe by focusing only on your main
subject
you can go
further
and increase the spectrum of your future Job opportunities. On the
one
hand, when someone has interests other than his main
study
courses, he will start building experiences and skills in these fields and these, in return, will expand his background knowledge and make him multitask. Being a multi-task employee is a great feature which is
also
a great value all employers seek.
For example
, Microsoft company always hire applicants with multi-skill abilities.
However
, I believe
this
method will distract students from their main Path and keep them busy with things that are not beneficial for their career progress.
On the other hand
, when someone concentrates only on his main
subject
and gives it all the needed time, he will be successful and get higher marks, and these can help him get different opportunities in his Field.
In addition
, When all the focus is directed toward the same target, there will be less distraction and almost all the
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
of the
study
subject
will be covered ,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which can give students the ability to be potent
instead
of Knowing a few things in different directions. I believe in
this
school of
study
. In conclusion,
while
studying different materials other than the main
study
material can enhance your different
subject
knowledge, I believe, it is better to focus on the main
study
material to become capable in the future.
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points, as this strengthens your argument and shows practical application of your ideas.
general
Some sentences can benefit from minor grammatical and syntactical corrections. Also, aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance clarity and depth in your writing.
coherence cohesion
There are a few repetitive phrases and slight wordiness, which could be streamlined for better readability.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents both views and your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
You used good transitional phrases to connect your ideas and facilitate a smooth reading experience.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph effectively supports the main argument presented.
coherence cohesion
The overall logical structure of the essay is clear, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Holistic development
  • - Broadening perspectives
  • - Critical thinking skills
  • - Versatile and adaptable
  • - Job market
  • - Interdisciplinary thinking
  • - Problem-solving skills
  • - Academic performance
  • - Stress management
  • - Time management
  • - In-depth knowledge
  • - Expertise
  • - Resource allocation
  • - Core subjects
  • - Chosen domains
What to do next:
Look at other essays: