IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the disappearance of the national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#think #business #contact #nations #disappearance #identity
Nowadays, issues with the traditional value of a nation have been intensively discussed. Some
people
 argue that increasing
business
 cooperation between
countries
 is recognized as a positive trend, while others advocate that
this
 cultural communication will result in the loss of the national identity. Personally, I, support the former view.
This
 essay will discuss both perspectives, and explain why bilateral relationships between
countries
 in terms of
business
 contact is advantageous. On one hand, a group of
people
 claim that by conducting an
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
business
, the unique identity of a nation would be diminished. The main reason behind
such
 a phenomenon is
this
 new coming culture and advanced technology from other
countries
 have dominated and gradually eroded the local area.
For instance
, with the rise of
business
 interactions, some places have already abandoned the agricultural sector when the latest technology introduces abroad.
Therefore
, they believe that the existence of traditional customs disappears and eventually results in cultural erosion.
On the other hand
, another group of
people
, as well as I, insist that having more cultural and economic contacts among
countries
 are beneficial in the following aspects.
First
 and foremost, it brings new opportunities for work to the domestic labour market as the introduction of new technology.
Thus
, with the employment rate raises, the living standards will be largely improved and the economy will definitely thrive.
Secondly
,
business
 interaction is a catalyst to innovation and invention because cultural collisions allow talented and skilled workers to corporate effectively with adequate financial support. In
this
 way, it will reach a win-win to both sides.
Therefore
, we believe that
business
 and cultural contacts are crucial for the positive development of the nation. In conclusion,
although
 some
people
 think that more interactions between
countries
 in terms of trade and customs are the ways of cultural erosion, I solely believe that it will be a positive trend whether in economic conditions or invention.
Submitted by Esther on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: