Many people say that globalization and the growing number of miltinational companies have a negative effect on the environment .to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The nations are struggling to increase
the
Change the word
their
show examples
economy.Most proponents believe that the increasing number of multinational businesses and globalisation are harmful to the environment.I strongly ad
vocate
Correct your spelling
vacate
this
statement that internationalization reversibly affects the climate and puts a heavy strain on developing countries.The following paragraphs will discuss
this
notion.
Firstly
, proliferation is the way
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the development and progress of a country.A large figure of multinational groups are considered the rise the economy chart of a nation ,
while
it brings a number of problems that negatively affect the surroundings of that country and in the long run, affect the whole world.These industries often exploit natural resources in developing countries without adequate consideration for environmental sustainability,leading to deforestation,water pollution and loss of biodiversity.
For example
,logging of forests for building companies and mixing of factories waste natural resources of water leading to water
as well as
air contamination.
Furthermore
, the expansion of global trade means an increased number of transportation of goods across the world,significantly contributing to greenhouse gas emissions and global warming. Many developed communities have maintained strict rules and regulations.So multinational trades move operations to regions with weaker environmental regulations,enabling them to pollute and exploit resources without facing significant legal consequences.
For example
,in the
last
few decades,China progressed vastly because China has given relaxation to all these companies.The reason behind
this
is the economic pressure so many developing nations prioritize economic growth over environmental protection
due to
pressure to attract foreign investment ,leading to lax enforcement of environmental standards.
On the other hand
,some corporations follow the rules to protect the environment by using green technologies and sustainable practices,
thus
showcasing that globalisation can drive environmental improvement.
To conclude
,
although
economic pressure is a great cause for globalisation,multinational companies negatively affect the environment.Every country needs to develop rules to prohibit
this
damage and industries should
also
take part in nature protection.
Submitted by atiya.noureen21 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance that you support the notion that globalization and multinational companies negatively affect the environment; however, ensure to avoid minor grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'ad' instead of 'advocate.'
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but there are occasional lapses in grammar and sentence structure. Make sure to proofread your work to correct these minor errors and enhance readability.
task achievement
Although you provided relevant and specific examples, the essay could benefit from including more of these to strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is mostly logical. However, work on transitioning more smoothly between points to improve the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to have smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
While you did have an introduction and a conclusion, try to make your introduction slightly more comprehensive to clearly outline what your essay will discuss.
coherence cohesion
To heighten the impact of your conclusion, consider briefly restating your main points before drawing your final statement.
task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, giving a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
You include specific examples that are relevant and help to support your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and well-defined, which gives a clear framework to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • industrial expansion
  • pollution
  • carbon emissions
  • prioritize profit
  • environmental regulations
  • resource depletion
  • environmental degradation
  • production practices
  • supply chain
  • deforestation
  • loss of biodiversity
  • mass consumerism
  • waste production
  • environmental harm
  • international regulations
  • exploit
  • environmental standards
  • developing countries
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!