IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019

the charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019
The given line graphs illustrate the percentage of households including electronic equipment and
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of hours spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housework during a week from 1920 to 2019
Overall
Linking Words
, the first graph indicates the upward trends in three households with electronic appliances
while
Linking Words
Linking Words
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 one reports
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 in
number
Add an article
the number
show examples
 of hours of housework The refrigerator was at its lowest amount
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was 0% in 1920 and
vacuum
Correct article usage
the vacuum
show examples
 cleaner was at 30 % at that time. After that, both figures saw
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dramatic increases until 1980 to 100 % and 80 % respectively.
Then
Linking Words
,
refrigerator
Correct article usage
the refrigerator
show examples
 remained stable for 20 years and stopped in 2020.
However
Linking Words
, the vacuum cleaner grew up slightly to 100 % in the following year and stayed unchanged until 2019. In terms of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
, there was a fluctuation during these 5 decades. The time spent
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 these households decreased moderately from 50 % to 10% during these periods.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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