Topic- In recent years, young people in many countries choose to live by themselves. What are the reasons and is it positive or negative for the development of the society.

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These days, many young individuals prefer to live separately. The reason behind it would be their value for freedom. I personally believe that it is positive for the society's development. In
this
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essay, I will explain more about the topic. To start with, living with our
parents
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does not seem to be the most healthy environment. A lot of young people are not privileged with open-minded
parents
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. Sometimes, they can be overloaded with their demands.
For instance
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, a person who remains single keeps getting pressured to get married. Not to forget, they may not agree with every partner that you choose. These things could lead to an unhealthy environment.
Therefore
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, living alone would be the best choice for those who seek freedom and peace. In terms of the development of society, I believe that peace would bring many positive impacts. As long as the individuals are not underaged, their life should be their own responsibility.
For example
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, people who are able to make their own income should be in charge of their own finances. By living alone, they can learn the art of adulting. As a matter of fact, some
parents
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might have spoiled their children, and I feel like
this
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adjustment would be the right fit for them.
However
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, we should not overlook the importance of respecting our
parents
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in any circumstances. In conclusion, young people's need to live separately can actually be a positive development for society. In fact, every individual has their own choices in life.
Nevertheless
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, the role of
parents
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is something that we still need to cherish.
Submitted by iigness05 on

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task achievement
Develop the second body paragraph further by providing more examples or explanations on how living independently benefits the society and the individual.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly, consider using linking phrases to help enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining a good structure and focus throughout.
task achievement
The response effectively addresses the task and provides a clear stance on whether this trend is positive or negative.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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