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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

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It is argued that which school subjects among
history
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,
science
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 and
technology
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 are more important in these days. I am of the opinion that
technology
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 and
science
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 play a greater role in the student's life,
due to
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 their
effect
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 on their career in the
future
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as well as
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 their ability to handle their daily tasks. Learning about
history
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 is really important for the students and
also
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 for the people of a country because they should know about their background.
In other words
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, having enough information about our ancestors can have a huge
effect
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 on the amount of passion that we may have for our country. Our
history
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 clearly shows how far we come and
this
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 can give us great motivation to become better and better as time passes.
However
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, in today's world,
history
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 has almost no
effect
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 on the student's
future
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 jobs, so
this
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 is the reason that I find subjects like
technology
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 and
science
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 more important. Turning to subjects
such
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 as
science
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 and
technology
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, they not only have a huge
effect
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 on the student's
future
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 posts
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 have great effects on their ability to deal with their daily tasks. Nowadays, most jobs set a range of criteria for the applicants, these criteria include knowing other languages
,
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apply
show examples
 and having full knowledge about
technology
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 and the sciences relating to that job.
Moreover
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, since every task that people want to do in all categories, the role of
technology
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 is deniable in them, students have no other alternative ways
instead
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 of accepting the fact that they should keep themselves updated with the latest
technology
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 and
science
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.
To sum up
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,
although
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,
history
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 is the subject that students should put at the top of their priorities list,
technology
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 and
science
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 have a more crucial
effect
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 on their chance of becoming successful in the
future
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 in their working fields.

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task achievement
To improve task response, provide more specific examples when discussing the importance of history and the impact of science and technology.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main arguments.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally well supported with reasons.
task achievement
The task is addressed effectively, with both views discussed and a clear opinion given.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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