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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many students choose to take a year off before entering university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking a year off, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.

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It is true that more and more
students
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 are taking a
gap
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year
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 before pursuing higher education.
While
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 there are certainly some drawbacks for
students
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 who make
this
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 decision, I believe that taking a
gap
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year
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 before entering
university
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 is beneficial
overall
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. On the one hand, there are several difficulties that
students
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 who take a
gap
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year
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 may experience.
Firstly
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, they may need financial support from their families
such
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 as living costs, housing, bills and other expenses.
For example
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, a student from a lower-income family may need to work for tuition and seek more part-time jobs. It is impossible for
students
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 to take a break for a
year
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 without family support.
Secondly
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, they may struggle to cope with their family relationships because their family needs to give some support, both in terms of financial and spiritual conventions.
Finally
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, entering
university
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 a
year
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 later may put
students
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 behind
with
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apply
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their high school classmates, and some
students
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 may feel lonely and disconnected from them.
On the other hand
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, taking a
gap
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year
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 before attending
university
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 can be extremely rewarding. The main benefit for
students
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 who want to take a break before taking tertiary education is to recharge their batteries. Letting their hair down and just having fun may help them feel refreshed and
be
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apply
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ready for the next stage. Another advantage for
students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 take a
year
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 off is to gain more
working
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work
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 experience.
For instance
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,
such
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 working experience may look good on their CVs, which could lead them to compete for better positions in the
university
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. The other advantage of taking a
year
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 off is more personal; it can help
students
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 learn some skills for their later life, gain different experiences and introduce them to a new network of friends. In conclusion, I believe that the trend of taking a
year
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 off before entering
university
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 is a positive one, especially if the
students
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 are able to overcome the difficulties that they are likely to face.

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task achievement
While your introduction clearly presents your stance, consider elaborating on your reasons for both advantages and disadvantages in a more outlined manner. This will enhance clarity.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, ensure that each point is more thoroughly developed and supported with specific examples. This will strengthen your arguments and provide more depth to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that you maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Linking phrases and clearer transitions between points can improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
You present both advantages and disadvantages effectively, which demonstrates a balanced view on the topic. This is a commendable approach to the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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