IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think the changes have been very positive, while others believe they have been very negative. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion

#lifestyles #people #changes #points
In
this
 modern era, most
people
's way of living has been changed with time. Many individuals tend to look forward in a positive way while others believe that there is a negative impact on an individual's lifestyle. In
this
 essay, I'm going to discuss both negative influences and possible influences which are lead to giving a logical opinion of mine.
To begin
 with, there is a positive impact on
people
's lives due to the technological development of transportation and Healthcare.
People
 who live busy lifestyles can save time to go to destined places even to visit overseas.
Furthermore
, in the past ,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decade there wasn't a curable medicine for a disease called malaria. Nowadays, medical professionals have been discovered medical treatments even for rare diseases.
Therefore
 patients have a positive influence in medical treatments with technical approaches while others believe in traditional medical treatments.So
this
 will lead to living a healthy lifestyle.
On the other hand
, technological approaches have been affected an individual's physical
health
 and mental
health
. Most
people
 tend to spend more time on their electronic equipment
such
 as mobile phones, computers, TV . So
this
 will affect their eyesight.
In addition
 to that
people
 getting self-isolated will lead to depression.
In addition
 to that person fond to have junk foods . It will affect to individual's physical healthy life. The younger generation may affect by obesity , diabetes and heart diseases. In conclusion, there are both benefits and drawbacks to a person's life due to the approach of technology development. In my opinion, even there are drawbacks ,
people
 need to concentrate on the position impact. ,
Also
 they need to pay attention to their mental
health
 as well as physical
health
 when they co-up with the high-tech.
Submitted by priyankamiriyagalla on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: